Dear Woody Johnson, I'll Coach The Jets

Dear Woody Johnson, I’ll Coach The Jets

Dear Woody, I’ll manage your team.

I am officially putting in my application to New York Jets owner Woody Johnson to be the next coach and general manager of the Jets. I’ve seen enough over the past decade to know I have what it takes. Hell, I’ll even move to New York. 

The Jets are a complete mess and they are getting worse, not better. Adam Gase has completely lost a team that is void of any talent. It has to be one of the worst cases of mismanagement since the Cleveland Browns from 1995-2019. 

I’ll tell you what I’ll do, Woody. Your GM and head coach are making approximately $5-million a year. I’ll do both for $3-million and provide better results. If I make the playoffs within two years, you triple my salary. 

First things first, you have to get some talent on the field and put great people around you. Just because your general manager was a player, doesn’t mean he can spot talent or understands the trends of the game. Players play, managers manage and teachers teach. 

In 2020, you have to have a quarterback with mobility. Heck, Ryan Fitzpatrick is closing in on 38-years-old and looks like Usain Bolt compared to Joe Flacco. Statues are meant to be erected in a harbor, not behind the line of scrimmage. Again, trends of the game. 

Secondly, we will need a difference-maker at tight end. Look at the Chiefs, Niners, Titans, Raiders, and Ravens as a reference point. Guys like Chris Herndon, Ryan Griffin, and Trevon Wesco aren’t going to work out. Trends of the game.

Thirdly, 37-years-old is not the optimal age for a starting running back.  Derrick Henry and Dalvin Cook are a combined 51. Frank Gore has been a nice story in the NFL for 16 years, but it’s an Inconvenient Truth that he is past his prime. Trends of the game. 

This, of course, is just the beginning. Off the field, I hate the Giants and Patriots. That ought to earn me some additional juice. 

For all inquiries, hit up the Mighty.Rip editor at for my references and contact info. 

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